This is the first time I can ever say, hand on heart, that the Rio Olympics condom order is starting to resemble my weekly shopping list.
If you can find a better way for transporting large amounts of water, I’d like to hear it.
Around 450,000 condoms are being sent for the athletes in the Rio Games with 100,000 of them being female condoms which are available for the first time.
This number is three times the amount of condoms supplied at the London games which means one thing – athletes have grown far superior libidos in the past four years. That’s science – you can’t argue with it.
There will also be 175,000 packets of lube supplied with the Olympic commitee believing that the frankly outrageous amount of contraception at hand will encourage10,500 athletes and staff to practise safe sex.
They will be available free in the Olympic village’s clinics and vending machines because, as you may know, Olympic athletes go properly wild on the sex front post-games.
It’s not clear whether the increase in the amount of Johnnies is relative to the recent outbreak of theZika virus in Brazil which can be transmitted sexually but, you know… better safe than sorry.
Maybe there was an admin mistake and the Olympic committee actually ordered 450,000 condors more some elaborate opening ceremony..?
Although probably not.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments!