18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

No, they still don’t like you back.

1. When you go a few days without talking to them because they didn’t text you first and you didn’t want to initiate the conversation

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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2. When you actually do text them to start a conversation and they take hours to respond

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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3. And when they finally do respond they give one word answers

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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4. When you’re just dying for them to give you a damn compliment

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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5. When your friends don’t understand your infatuation with your crush

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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Just “get over him?” Really?!

6. When your crush says they’re too busy to hang out but then you see pictures of them on facebook at a bar

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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7. When you finally have plans to hang out with them and they cancel last minute

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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8. When you realize they only flirt with you after they’ve had a few drinks

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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9. When your crush tells you how hot they think someone is

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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10. When someone says your crush is hot

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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11. When you see your crush flirting with someone else

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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12. It’s even worse if they’re actually in a relationship with someone else

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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13. When you overanalyze everything they say and then make ridiculous assumptions

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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14. When you’re just about to give up on them but they say something cute and pull you back in

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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15. But then they ignore you again 3 days later

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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16. When they call you a “good friend”

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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17. When you misinterpret the moment and make an unwelcome advance

18 Agonizing Moments Of Having A Crush

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18. When they turn you down but say they still want to be friends

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Just remember the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else

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Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/achio/18-agonizing-moments-of-having-a-crush-fjio

Pokmon GO’s Augmented Reality Has Made The World Are Far Weirder Place

Pokmon GO is here, and theres no escaping from it. This free-to-play augmented reality smartphone app, which lets you hunt the little animated wildlings in the real world around you, has only been out for a couple of weeks, but it has taken the world by storm for better or worse, depending on your perspective.

On the one hand, its making people get out and exercise by meandering around their city or town on the hunt for something more impressive than a Magikarp. On the other, people are breaking up with their partners after discovering that nothing on Earth can pull them away from their quest to be the very best, like no one ever was.

Either way, it shows how immersive and popular augmented reality, a relatively nascent technological field, can be when framed the right way.

The objective, simply put, is to catch all 151 original Pokmon, as players see their local neighborhoods transformed, via the app, into Pokmon gyms, shops, and battle arenas. People across the planet have become utterly obsessed with it, with some catching Pokmon while driving their cars down the highway, as their wives are giving birth, in the middle of illicit drug deals in poorly lit alleyways, and even while stumbling across dead bodies.

One ingenious technophile has managed to hook the game up to a drone, where he can hunt for Pokmon from the sky while sitting in the comfort of his own home.

It’s already bigger than Tinder, which is installed on 2 percent of Android smartphones GO is on about 5 percent of them. Twitter is also feeling the squeeze in terms of daily active users, with almost as many using GO as were tweeting.

The transformation of real-life buildings into virtual Pokmon battle arenas or wild Pokmon hotspots is causing both amusement and consternation among the general populace. One enthralled user on Twitter was enjoying seeing gamers gather outside of his house, which in the world of Pokmon GO was a battle gym. The Northern Territory Police Fire and Emergency Services in Darwin, Australia, have had to issue a public statement on the game asking people not to wander into their stations, which have been converted into virtual stores for Pokmon goods.

Amusing GO tales aside, there have also been numerous health concerns regarding the use of the app. Essentially, people playing the game have their eyes glued to the app more intensely than ever before, and as a result, theyre walking into poles, walls and holes like no tomorrow.

Mike Schultz, a 21-year-old communications graduate from Long Island, New York, thought it was a good idea to play the game while skateboarding. As the bruises and cuts on his hands suggest, this was not a well thought out plan. Kyrie Tompkins, a 22-year-old web designer from Waterville in Maine, was so distracted that she fell into a hole in the sidewalk.

Although its only technically out in the US, Australia, and New Zealand at the moment, millions have downloaded it in a range of other countries using fake accounts or servers based in one of these three territories. So if you live in Europe or Asia, and you have seen your office colleagues wandering around screaming about a Charizard they have spotted in the stairwell, you probably shouldnt be too shocked by this point.

Read more: http://www.iflscience.com/technology/pokmon-gos-augmented-reality-has-made-the-world-are-far-weirder-place/

The Betches Guide to the Birthday Instagram

The bday insta is a sacred part of every betch’s social media life. The days of counting your FB wall posts are long gone. These days, all that matters on your bday is how many of your besties devote an entire half an iphone screen to you. Omggg its like 5 Pm and Carly hasn’t instaed at me, she instaed on Katie’s bday at like 9 am!!

But more importantly, the birthday instagram is really just an excuse to put up flattering pics of yourself that the birthday betch just happens to be in. And of course to show the world how close your bestie group is. 

PicStitch

There are many types of bday instas, but the picstitch is the classic. It tells the world that you really fucking love this betch, because even though you #36 hate doing work you completed the seriously exhausting task of going through all the pics of you two (and there are a fucking LOT) and organizing the best ones into an adorbs tiny collage. And that’s before you even pick a filter. Ugh, I am such a good friend.

The picstitch needs to hit the perfect balance of posed pics where you look skinny af and candid (or probs fake candid) laughing pics, so everyone knows how fucking funny you are! At least one pic will be in a tropical location (so you’re at your tannest, fucking duh) and another will be taken in some sort of bar/club when you were blackout. Don’t be that annoying betch who posts a picstitch made of four smaller picstitches so every pic is too fucking tiny to see. Omfg Casey's pics are so small I can’t even tell whether she looked skinz on spring break.

Flipagram

Flipagram is a new slideshow strategy usually employed by the betch who is so obsessed with herself that she can’t bear to see herself shrunken into a smaller frame and who actually believes people are going to watch her 20 second vid instead of scrolling past after 2. This strategy is usually #123 TTH. I know you had to download another app to do that, bitch.


One Pic

The one pic bday insta is a bold move. It says, I’m too fucking cool for this lame collage shit, but my bestie is amaze and we look hot here. Pic choice is obvs important here, and should either be some artsy shot of your linked arms silhouetted against a sunset or an event like Coachella, #3 abroad, or #40 formal.


The Caption

No bday insta is complete without the perfect caption. The classic one liner with a million bland adjectives followed by some combination of the confetti, kissy face, heart, and martini emojis is always effective. Happy bday to the craziest, sexiest, most hilar, drunkest bestie around @xoxomandy!!! You just melted my stone cold heart. Liking the shit out of that.

We all know that the real goal of the bday insta is to show the world how popular you are and how much fun you have. So follow this guide betches and I promise you can use your friend’s birthdays to make yourself look hot. Remember not to fuck up the pic stitch or fear jeopardizing your friendship forever. Besties means never having to say “I'm sorry I over filtered your birthday insta.”

Read more: http://www.betcheslovethis.com/article/guide-birthday-instagram

These Diagrams Are Everything You Need To Decorate Your Home

Interior design cheat sheets FTW.

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1. Types of Doors

From Northerm.

3. Kinds of Moulding

From DIY Advice.

4. Tile Patterns

From Centura.

Thinkstock

7. Yardage for Stool Upholstery

From Knol.

8. Yardage for Sofa Upholstery

From Knol.

9. Yardage for Chair Upholstery

From Knol.

10. Seating Capacities for Dining Tables

From Cottage Home Furniture.

13. Common Furniture Sizes

From Decoratour.

14. Common Dimensions

From Decoratour.

Thinkstock

15. Indoor Plant Guide

16. Mantel Decor Diagram

From Honey and Fitz.

17. Pillow Style Inspiration

From Matouk.

18. Bed Styling Diagram

See the full diagram at Matouk.

20. How to Hang Curtains

To make your ceilings look taller! From Home Goods.

21. Window Covering Styles

From HG Expo.

Thinkstock

23. Gallery Wall Layout Ideas

Original in Polish.

24. Hanging Style Diagnostic

From The Art Mint.

26. Bedroom Rug Size Guide

From Burlap and Lace.

27. Dining Room Rug Size Guide

From Burlap and Lace.

28. Living Room Rug Size Guide

From Burlap and Lace.

Thinkstock

30. House Paint Color Matching Guide

Better Homes and Gardens / Via omahdesigns.net

From Better Homes and Gardens.

31. Color Undertone Guide

From Live Love DIY.

Thinkstock

33. Lampshade Types & How To Measure

From Shades of Light.

34. Lightswitch Styles

From Modern Switch.

35. Types of Lightbulbs

See the full explanation of which ones to use where at Lightopedia.

Want awesome DIY tips in your inbox four times a week? Sign up for the BuzzFeed DIY newsletter!

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Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicaprobus/these-diagrams-are-everything-you-need-to-decorate-your-home

The Shirk Report – Volume 274

the-friday-shirk-report

Welcome to the Shirk Report where you will find the 25 funny images, 10 interesting articles and 5 entertaining videos from the last 7 days of sifting. Most images found on Reddit; articles from Twitter, RSS and email; videos come from everywhere. Any suggestions? Send a note to submit@twistedsifter.com

25 IMAGES

Friday! That’s Me!!!!
Not sure if this is my first test
This person is the WORST
Is this thing on?
This license plate checks out
He’s now wanted for two crimes
Good thing that fence is there or this could get ugly
That was a terrible slide
Someone found the middle-aged versions of Pedro and Napoleon Dynamite in a Subway line
This guy made a relevant graph with his work-related injury
A grandmother’s first roller coaster ride
What a delicious face
This look tasty
If you turn umop apisdn upside down, it spells upside down
The houses are fighting back… and winning!
– This kid is almost as fired up as this baby. Almost
That was close
When you get sent to mop up the rain, you’ve done something very wrong
Nope
Another glitch in the Matrix
Everything’s better in slow motion | Especially dogs
Waterworks
“Everybody get out of my way” – Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Cat notices camera. Goes to check it out
Never stop having fun
See y’all next week

10 ARTICLES

How Much Does a Cloud Weigh?
This Is Not a Vermeer
58 One Sentence Facts
The best way to invest a single dollar
Empire of Rock: China’s Supercaves
10 Tricks to Appear Smart During Meetings
Who Won the World Cup of Arm-Folding?
20 Successful Habits I Learned Working For Two Billionaires (Part 1)
World War I in Photos: A Century Later
The 20 most popular TED talks of all time

5 VIDEOS + ninja golf

Here’s the original
 

GO WITH YOUR GUT THIS WEEKEND!

ask for assistance self help top shelf sign funny (2)

Read more: http://twistedsifter.com/2014/07/the-shirk-report-volume-274/

These facts about sick days just might get your tummy turning.

Despite being the richest country on the planet, the United States can be pretty cheap when it comes to its workers.


The
Economic Policy Institute writes:

“Currently, more than one-third of all workers 39 percent have no paid sick days. When these workers get sick, they are forced either to go to work, or to stay home without pay and risk losing their job.”

The U.S. ranks lowest yes,
lowest among developed countries when it comes to providing workers with paid sick leave and vacation.

Paid time off is less available to people who need it most.

The highest paid 10% of workers are over four times more likely to have access to paid sick days than the lowest paid 10%.

Think about how that might affect not just low-wage workers, but the people around them to have to work through illness or injury, prolonging their recovery and exposing others to health risks or even having to leave a loved one in a time of need.

And think of how lack of access to paid sick leave might affect already drastic inequality with low-wage workers having to forgo pay and risk their jobs to attend to their health or a loved one’s.

But here’s the thing: It doesn’t have to be this way.


The
Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania thinks we need to push for a policy change:

“In the national struggle over economic inequality, Wharton management professor Peter Cappelli calls mandatory paid sick days for workers the lowest of the low-hanging fruit.
***
It has long been the case in the U.S. that many workers are granted paid sick leave by virtue of an individual employer policy or collective bargaining agreement. … But a national policy regarding paid sick leave has long been a missing link.”

You can help to make it possible by pushing your lawmakers and showing love (online and offline) for workers all over the country who are fighting for fair pay and benefits and safer work conditions.

It’s not just the economy that’s at stake. It’s our integrity as a nation.

Read more: http://www.upworthy.com/these-facts-about-sick-days-just-might-get-your-tummy-turning?c=tpstream

Deadly Boomslang Snake Venom Makes You Bleed From All Of Your Orifices Until You Die

Let me introduce to you the snake that reinforces the phrase “Never trust a pretty face”- the boomslang snake.

Adding to the repertoire of s#!t scary snakes, Dispholidus typhus is a swift, agile creature whose venom certain packs a punch. Thankfully, it’s shy, non-aggressive and difficult to track down in its home of sub-Saharan Africa, but that hasn’t stopped it from rightfully earning a fearsome reputation.

Boomslangs spend most of their time chilling out in trees in a variety of environments, from coastal thickets to savannahs. These snakes exhibit sexual dimorphism, meaning that the males and females display obvious morphological differences. The females are typically brown, whereas the males can display a variety of bright colors, from greens and yellows to pink-ish reds. A characteristic feature of these snakes is their strikingly large eyes that take up a large proportion of their heads. Youngsters are particularly beautiful because their eyes are an iridescent green, but don’t let these puppy dog eyes fool you. This snake will mess you up.

Image credit: William Warby, via Wikimedia Commons

For many years, it was believed that this species was harmless, but world-renowned herpetologist Karl P. Schmidt learned the hard way that this snake is, in fact, badass. Back in 1957, whilst examining a young boomslang, Schmidt was bitten on the thumb. Given that nobody knew these snakes were deadly, Schmidt thought nothing of it and carried on as normal. In just one day, he died of respiratory arrest and cerebral hemorrhage; an event that quickly spurred researchers to examine this snake’s venom, which unsurprisingly turned out to be highly toxic.

Boomslangs are rear-fanged, meaning that they’re equipped with large teeth at the back of their mouths. Consequently, to inject their prey with venom, the snakes have to open their mouths very wide, around 170 degrees.

What this snake’s venom does to you would not be out of place in a horror movie. It’s hemotoxic, meaning that it destroys red blood cells, disrupts the clotting process and causes tissue and organ degeneration. What this unfortunately means is that massive hemorrhage ensues, causing the victim to bleed from the gums, nose and other orifices. Sometimes, the body of the victim will turn blue because of the widespread internal bleeding. Adding insult to injury, the process can be extremely slow, sometimes taking 5 days for the victim to die of internal bleeding. Thankfully, there is an antivenom, so if you’re bitten by one of these guys- don’t hang about.

Happy nightmares. 

[Via reptilesmagazine.comRunning Ponies, and hat tip to Bec Crew at SciAm.

[Header image “Pondoro / South Africa / 2014,” by gundy, via Flickr, used in accordance with CC BY-NC-SA 2.0]

Read more: http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/deadly-boomslang-snake-venom-makes-you-bleed-all-your-orifices-until-you-die

Why Akin Is Staying In

Rep. Todd Akin’s decision today to stay in the race for Senate from Missouri pits him against a bipartisan Establishment, in his state and Washington, in the right and the center, that is straining to push him out.

That’s a comfortable position for a conservative Republican who was never one of the club on Capitol Hill, and whose political infrastructure sits safely outside even the watermark of the online storm tides.

“The institutions have never been with Todd,” one source close to the candidate told BuzzFeed. They “had for a few weeks,” since he won the nomination, but “now [it’s] back to the good old days.”

The campaign’s thinking: “We’re counting on the forgiveness of Missourians…not answering to vacuous D.C. power players,” the person said.

Akin’s new ad makes clear the message of his campaign, in the words of this ally: “He’s a good man…who said an awful thing apologized and deserves a chance to defend his honor and integrity before the power structure just decides to toss him aside.”

If this rhetoric is familiar, it’s the rhetoric of a conservative counter-establishment that is now it’s own establishment, and which is, mostly, also calling on Akin to quit. But he has a few voices of support, including the Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins, who recently captured the same dynamic.

And Akin has at his back people who are used to weathering the Establishment’s storms. His consulting firm is the Strategy Group, a Columbus, Ohio-based firm whose low profile belies its size and reach, as well as its experience at the heart of recent squalls. Its founder Rex Elsass and president Nick Everhart have their hands in conservative House races across the country, and worked on both Michele Bachmann’s and Newt Gingrich’s campaign for president’s.

“When George Allen made some comments a few years ago, you didn’t see the Senatorial committee pulling its support from him. You didn’t see people abandoning him,” he said.

The implicit difference: Akin is an outsider. Many Republicans would now go further, and say he’s a pariah. But in American politics, and Republican politics, right now, the outside isn’t the worst place to be.

Akin’s Ad: “Forgiveness”

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Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/buzzfeedpolitics/why-akin-is-staying-in