Kanye West: No, I didn’t say I was the next Nelson Mandela

http://twitter.com/#!/BroadcastCoffee/status/409356002056609794

The Daily Currant, the “online satirical newspaper” that continues to fool so many, has struck again, this time publishing a fictional interview with Kanye West in which the rapper declared, “I am the next Nelson Mandela.” That didn’t stop Twitter from spreading the quote far and wide.

http://twitter.com/#!/yaboyCP23/status/410138595748745216
http://twitter.com/#!/CYComedy/status/409424941302677504

West took to Twitter today to set the record straight.

http://twitter.com/#!/kanyewest/status/410096820291772416
http://twitter.com/#!/kanyewest/status/410097097543655425
http://twitter.com/#!/kanyewest/status/410097143261589504

And may this incident serve to illuminate to all that The Daily Currant is all satire, all the time.

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2013/12/09/kanye-west-no-i-didnt-say-i-was-the-next-nelson-mandela/

Sheila Jackson Lee says Constitution 400 years old; Nobody surprised [video]

http://twitter.com/#!/JGreenDC/status/443838448060080128

Observers of politics know that Texas Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee can be consistently counted on to say ridiculous things, and today was no exception.

http://twitter.com/#!/JoeC_Esquire/status/443860112566800385

Wait. What?

Let’s go to the transcript and video showing Jackson Lee insinuating that the U.S has been operating under the Constitution for 400 years:

http://twitter.com/#!/ellencarmichael/status/443840850615730176

The video tells the same sad tale:

http://twitter.com/#!/ashleighgrant/status/443871258951024640

So ridiculous, and yet so unsurprising.

http://twitter.com/#!/RBPundit/status/443843784200425472
http://twitter.com/#!/Matthops82/status/443847265959313408
http://twitter.com/#!/Matthops82/status/443844322702946304
http://twitter.com/#!/DaDustDevil/status/443845553642692608

Maybe this is why SJL thinks the Constitution is older than it really is:

http://twitter.com/#!/hale_razor/status/443877652286304256

Bam!

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Related:

Oh, Sheila: Rep. Jackson Lee finds constitutional right to health care in Declaration of Independence

No joke: Congressional Black Caucus recommends Sheila Jackson Lee for head of Homeland Security

Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee: ‘The cancellation notice was not the truth’

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2014/03/12/texas-greatest-embarrassment-sheila-jackson-lee-claims-constitution-400-years-old-video/

Poor, poor, pitiful POTUS: Obama doesn’t think he gets enough respect

http://twitter.com/#!/SeanMooRad/status/423185359652913152

Has Barack Obama told you lately how hard it is being president? No? Well, it is hard.

During a visit this afternoon with the Miami Heat, President Obama confessed that people are mean to him sometimes. He just can’t get no respect!

http://twitter.com/#!/markknoller/status/423184235592052736

Awww … poor baby! Meanwhile, the guy’s got no respect for everyday Americans:

http://twitter.com/#!/BotchedLobotomy/status/423185557905088512

He doesn’t really respect the Constitution, either. But please, be nice to him, you guys. He has feelings, too!

Respect is earned, Mr. President. Something you clearly known nothing about.

http://twitter.com/#!/NAFletchr/status/423184639943917569

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2014/01/14/poor-poor-pitiful-potus-obama-doesnt-think-he-gets-enough-respect/

‘Don’t think I won’t kill you, dwarf’: Good one-liners from Bloom-Bieber brawl

http://twitter.com/#!/Cameron_Gray/status/494578977327943682

Very true. The story doesn’t matter but it is an opportunity for a laugh at the expense of some annoying celebrities.

http://twitter.com/#!/TMZ/status/494568640063078400
http://twitter.com/#!/DepressedDarth/status/494578424577814528
http://twitter.com/#!/funnyordie/status/494545531138351104
http://twitter.com/#!/amellywood/status/494586443855958017
http://twitter.com/#!/joshkeown/status/494599217394884608

Heh.

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Related

Twitchy coverage of Justin Bieber

 

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2014/07/30/dont-think-i-wont-kill-you-dwarf-good-one-liners-from-the-bloom-bieber-brawl/

Twitterverse ‘shocked’ to discover Brad & Angelina weren’t already married

"Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt just got married"

THEY WEREN'T ALREADY MARRIED?
I feel like my whole life is a lie!!

— Kat ☯ (@Castillionism) August 28, 2014

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were married in France over the weekend, but the real surprise for many was in discovering that the couple weren’t already husband and wife:

http://twitter.com/#!/DrewRGardner/status/504970703209521152
http://twitter.com/#!/LidyaNuraini48/status/504994952456454145

You are definitely not alone:

http://twitter.com/#!/themoe85/status/505000088910176256
http://twitter.com/#!/TinaSmithers/status/505001505062416384
http://twitter.com/#!/bevsackville/status/505001301961609217
http://twitter.com/#!/kakacorral/status/504999927819153410
http://twitter.com/#!/LanaDelCyrus/status/504999533966032896
http://twitter.com/#!/jerkstoresean/status/504994434979999745
http://twitter.com/#!/ashbroad/status/504994192779935744
http://twitter.com/#!/ShlomoDog/status/504993523062833152
http://twitter.com/#!/_ToyStories/status/504996346764722177
http://twitter.com/#!/jenandedhawkins/status/504995953691348992
http://twitter.com/#!/KatySmotherman/status/504993403189592064
http://twitter.com/#!/wearejay/status/504989185044795392
http://twitter.com/#!/Pinky_Balboa/status/504988993973665792
http://twitter.com/#!/TheMavsGoddess/status/504988664691056640
http://twitter.com/#!/Playing_Dad/status/504989067189424129
http://twitter.com/#!/fashionkilllaa_/status/504983359349882880
http://twitter.com/#!/OwensDamien/status/504975007630766080
http://twitter.com/#!/GadgetMichael/status/504972300547276800
http://twitter.com/#!/Mo_Rease/status/504970871610814465
http://twitter.com/#!/CeeSlimTweets/status/504969888365301760
http://twitter.com/#!/MizCaramelVixen/status/504969722291830785

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2014/08/28/twitterverse-shocked-to-discover-brad-pitt-and-angelina-jolie-werent-already-married/