11. Bacon-Wrapped Apricots Stuffed with Pistachio and Mozzarella
14. Turkish Spiced Meatballs with Pomegranate Yogurt Sauce
19. Meatballs Sliders
Ok so this isn’t one bite either, but it is the best meatball recipe around. Get the recipe at Bon Appetit
22. Homemade Bratwurst Bites with Beer and Horseradish Mustard
25. Wild Mushroom Ragoût on Crispy Polenta with Comte Cheese
26. Cauliflower Feta Fritters with Pomegranate
39. Baccalà Mantecato (Grilled Polenta with Dried Cod Mousse)
40. Mini Baked Potatoes with Aioli and Pimientos Recipe
41. Asian Pear Tartlets with a Spiced Port Reduction
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1. Remember Reptar Bars? The greatest fictional candy of all time?
They were dino-shaped and chocolatey and guaranteed to make your tongue green — so obviously they were the most coveted candy of The Rugrats universe.
2. Well, now they’re real and 100% guaranteed to turn your tongue green IRL!
Recipe here. Epic candy bar wrapper not included.
1. Tumblr user nonomella is currently teaching in China. She made a PowerPoint of her students’ reactions to “Regional/Iconic American Foods.”
3. On her blog she started answering questions about the lesson, explaining that she chose stock photos that were really easy to identify and not anything like Chinese food.
7. The main takeaway from this is that it seems as though the beauty of key lime pie is universally recognized.
9. And that Chinese students are equally confused by the concept of a bowl made of bread full of soup that you can eat.
2. Here’s what you’ll need.
2 filet mignon
3 or 4 potatoes, preferably a mix of medium-sized Yukon Gold potatoes and Russets
1 bunch of carrots
4 sticks of butter
1/3 cup whole milk
1/2 cup dry red wine
1/2 cup beef or vegetable stock
THE GAME PLAN
1. Start the potatoes.
2. Start the sauce.
3. Get the carrots in the oven.
4. Start the filets.
5. Check the potatoes and check the sauce.
6. Finish the potatoes.
7. Check the carrots and the filet.
8. Finish the sauce.
3. Start with the potatoes. Peel them first.
Set up a station like this so you can peel each potato and put it in water so it doesn’t brown after you’ve peeled it.
4. Then quarter them. The pieces should all be about the same size.
So even though you’re cutting the Yukon Golds into quarters, you might cut the Russet into more than four pieces so they can be equal in size to the others.
5. Put the potato pieces in a large pot and cover them with cold water by about an inch.
When you boil potatoes, always start with cold water — and don’t salt the water.
6. Bring the water to a boil and let them cook until just tender.
Once the water has started boiling it will take about 5 to 10 minutes for them to get tender — you can test how tender they are by poking them with a fork or knife, and once it goes through without much resistance, drain the potatoes.
7. While the potatoes are boiling, put 1/2 stick of butter and 1/3 cup of milk in a saucepan and put it on a burner with no heat.
The butter will melt without any heat, and you can just briefly heat it before you put it in the mashed potatoes later.
8. Next, make the red wine sauce. Combine 1/2 cup red wine and 1/2 cup of beef or chicken stock in a saucepan.
9. Bring it to a boil and let it reduce by half.
10. You can check the amount of liquid in the pan more easily by tipping it.
11. As all that’s happening, start the carrots. Preheat the oven to 440ºF. Wash the carrots, then dry them very well.
12. If you didn’t get pretty multicolored carrots, don’t worry. If they aren’t small, you might want to cut them into pieces so they are smaller, but no matter what kind of carrot, they all cook the same way.
13. Drizzle the carrots with olive oil and sprinkle with kosher salt, then put in the oven at 400ºF. Set a timer for 20 minutes so you remember to check them.
They will take 20 to 30 minutes to cook, depending on how large they are. If you like them firmer, take them out when there’s still a little bite.
14. Dry the filets really well with a paper towel.
15. Generously season with salt and pepper all over.
16. Heat a Tbsp of vegetable oil in a saute pan. Don’t use EVOO because it will smoke.
17. Once the pan is so hot that it’s almost smoking and you can really feel the heat when you hold you hand over it.
18. Once they have a nice brown crust, flip them over.
19. Once the second side has a nice brown crust, roll them around to give all the sides a crust.
21. Then put them in a 400ºF oven until a thermometer registers 135ºF.
22. In the meantime, check the potatoes, if they are tender, drain them. Turn the heat on under your milk/butter very low.
23. Put the potatoes back in the pot and mash them with a potato masher or the back of a fork.
24. Add the milk and butter.
25. Keep mashing.
26. HEY, check your carrots and your filet!
27. Once you like the way the potatoes taste (yes, taste them!), dot the top with butter.
28. Put some plastic wrap on top, then put the potatoes on the oven to keep them warm.
29. Once the filet is at 135ºF, let it rest for a few minutes.
30. Go back to your reduction, whisk 2 Tbsp of butter into it, heat gently (don’t boil), and add salt until you like the flavor.
31. Plate everything and eat.
1. Because delicious Chicago-style deep dish pizza is crusty and cheesy and saucy and without flaws.
2. Because it’s the perfect combination of thick, crispy crust and three to ten inches of cheese and toppings and then just a mess of delicious sauce.
4. Because other pizzas are WEAK and they should tremble before the thick-muscled pizza of Chicago.
5. Because sometimes it looks too greasy to be real, but you put it in your mouth and all of your fears and troubles vanish as the crusty cheese warms your insides.
6. Because every time a piece of deep dish pizza is lifted from its dish, an angel is born in cheese heaven.
7. Because you can fill it with meat and vegetables and hide all of your pain and suffering between the folds of ingredients.
8. Because it is a greasy, cheesy haven where baby cheese deer go to frolic on buttery crust hills next to flowing tomato sauce rivers.
9. Because unlike other weak, pansy pizzas, deep dish pizza is BURSTING with a possibly deadly amount of cheese and buttery dough, and baked beneath a burning flame to be made strong.
10. Because you have to eat this bad motherfucker with a FORK and KNIFE because your weak hands aren’t strong enough to wrangle the cheesy chains.
12. Because the cheese is INSIDE the pizza so it survives the harsh, burning fire of the oven required to bake that buttery crust to perfection.
13. Because there is more sauce in this extra large monstrosity than there is in the weekly diet of most full-sized Italian families.
14. Because if you concentrate on the fullness and robustness of a deep dish pizza, if you really contemplate its complexities, it’s the closest you will ever get to experiencing nirvana.
15. Because deep dish brings more to the table than any of your limp, emaciated regular pizzas.
17. Because the sauce is thicker and chunkier and believes more strongly in you and your dreams than regular pizza.
18. Because each string of this delectable melted cheese is more heavenly and precious than perhaps anything else on earth.
19. Because it’s baked in a badass pan and not on a piece of wood or a flimsy regular pizza pan, but a STRONG pan made for sturdy, deep, thick pizzas.
20. Because a full-sized deep dish pizza weighs more than an obese human baby.
21. Because there’s room enough in the cozy, crusty, buttery walls of a deep dish pizza to hold all of your passions and love and memories.
22. Because other pizzas are basically just flimsy, cheesy cardboard and therefore not real because cardboard is not pizza, it is cardboard.
23. Because no amount of sauce is too much unless you’re weak.
25. Because cheese is the most important ingredient in anything, and deep dish pizza says, “No, regular pizza, I will not settle for less.”
26. Because cheese is food group number one and it solves all problems and will probably help achieve world peace at some point.
27. And because deep dish pizza is the alpha pizza, the mother of all pizzas, the end all and be all of pizzas and it deserves to be held in such high regard for all its wonderful perfection.
1. Add MORE CHEESE.
If you think there’s such a thing as a pizza that could not benefit from more cheese, you should probably go read some other post about pizza. This is not the one for you.
WHILE YOU WAIT: Grate a big-ass pile of cheese* and preheat your broiler/oven/toaster oven as hot as it will go.
*For best results, mix and match a melty cheese variety (mozzarella, fontina, Gruyére) with Parmigiano-Reggiano or Romano, which pack a lot of flavor punch.
When your pizza arrives, slide the whole thing onto a large baking sheet if it fits OR move individual slices onto a plate/smaller pan. Sprinkle cheese enthusiastically all over pizza. Bake for 5 minutes or as long as it takes for the top coat of cheese to turn bubbling and golden. Take it out (use oven mitts; the pan will be hot!), eat, and never settle for the baseline level of cheese on your pizza again.
2. Sprinkle awesome stuff on it.
There is an elite group of ninja ingredients that can make any and every pizza more exciting.
WHILE YOU WAIT: Round up as many of these things as you like and have on hand:
red pepper flakes
chopped fresh herbs (basil, cilantro, parsley, etc)
finely minced garlic
grated lemon zest
toasted pine nuts
nice extra virgin olive oil
pesto (thin out with a little olive oil if it’s too gloppy)
sriracha or another hot sauce
3. Cook your own vegetables.
Most of the “veggies” pizzerias use are soggy, weird-tasting, and prevent the cheese on the pizza from actually getting brown and crispy. You’re better off ordering a plain pizza and cooking the fresh vegetables you actually like at home.
WHILE YOU WAIT: Heat up a big skillet on medium-high and add a glug of oil. Once it’s hot, add your vegetables and season with salt (give onions a few minutes’ head start if you’re using them). Cook, stirring occasionally, until they’re softened and yummy. Here are some good options:
Red or yellow onions
Broccoli or broccoli rabe
Make more than you think you’ll need! You can throw any leftovers into something else.
4. Amp up the meat.
Ordering pepperoni is a great place to start. But you can take your pizza to new, more carnivorous heights with minimal DIY effort.
WHILE YOU WAIT: Buy/cook/prepare your meat of choice. A few ideas:
Bacon! Cook a few pieces in a pan or a whole bunch in the oven (like so).
Salt and pepper a piece of skirt or flank steak; slice thinly and sear in a hot pan until browned.
Cook ground beef with chopped onion, salt, pepper, and maybe a little ketchup to make hamburger pizza.
Shred some leftover rotisserie chicken.
Chop up a boneless chicken breast and sauté with salt, garlic and olive oil. Add cumin, oregano, and chile powder to make it Tex-Mex.
Order some fried chicken at the same time you call for pizza. Chop up the breast pieces, making sure to retain all crispy crust bits. YUP.
Order some BBQ pulled pork (or use leftovers, if you’re lucky enough to have them).
Slice up a few nice Italian sausages and cook them. This will probably taste better than the mysterious sausage nubbins most pizzerias use.
Cut leftover ham, salami, or other cold cuts into thin strips and give it a really quick spin in a hot pan to get crispy and delicious.
5. Put a salad on it.
Burying a hot slice of pizza in arugula might seem upsetting or wrong at first, but is actually a brilliant combo and has the added bonus of making you feel healthy and virtuous about eating bread covered in cheese.
WHILE YOU WAIT: Make a simple vinaigrette.
1/4 cup lemon juice (or white wine vinegar, or a combo) + more if you like a dressing with some attitude
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/2 tsp. salt
1 clove of garlic, minced or grated on a microplane grater
1/2 tsp. dijon mustard
Put it all in a mason jar or something else with a tight lid and SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE until it’s blended together. Taste and add more salt/oil/acid/mustard until it’s the way you like it. Toss your greens with the dressing and then grind lots of pepper over the salad.
6. Go international.
The Italians may get credit for inventing pizza, but they don’t get to tell you how to eat it forever.
WHILE YOU WAIT: Figure out which topping combo pack is right for you and round up/prep the ingredients. A few ideas:
Greek-ish: feta cheese, roasted eggplant, olives, red onion
Mexican-ish: black beans, corn, hot sauce, cilantro
French-ish: goat cheese, thyme, sliced figs
Spanish-ish: manchego cheese, ham, smoked paprika
Chinese-ish: cooked ground pork, chili sauce, sliced scallions
Indian-ish: roasted cauliflower, peas, curry powder
7. Put an egg on it.
FACT: 87% of all foods on earth taste better with a fried egg on top.
WHILE YOU WAIT: Fry an egg (or lots of eggs) sunny-side up, just until the yolk is starting to set but still runny in the middle. Best to do this right before or right after the pizza arrives.
ALTERNATIVE: For best possible integration, preheat your oven to maximum temp and pop the pizza in with a raw egg cracked on top. Bake until the egg is cooked.
3. DON’T: Skewer your sushi with chopsticks.
You still cute though, bb girl.
4. DO: Pick up your sushi with your fingers.
If you don’t know how to use chopsticks, eating sushi with your hands is also acceptable.
5. If you don’t know how to use chopsticks, you can learn!
Actual helpful video here.
6. DO: Place your chopsticks on a ceramic rest.
If a rest isn’t provided, make one out of the paper wrapper. Leaving chopsticks on your plate makes extra work for your server.
7. DON’T: Rub your chopsticks together to remove splinters.
Doing so assumes the hashi are of poor quality and offends the sushi chef.
8. DO: Use the back ends of your chopsticks when taking food from a shared plate.
To realign your chopsticks, tap them on a clean area of the sushi boat or on the table, not on your plate. It’s like anti-double dipping etiquette.
9. DON’T: Point either end of your chopsticks at another person.
Or your fork or knife or spoon for that matter. Common decency, you guys.
11. DON’T: Dip the rice side.
The rice is seasoned and flavored with the chef’s expertise. You dip it into the soy sauce, you diss the chef.
12. DO: Use wasabi sparingly, for similar reasons.
Traditionally, you leave it up to the chef to add the right amount of wasabi to your sushi. But today it’s more a matter of personal taste; just don’t go overboard with it.
13. DON’T: Make a soup out of wasabi and soy sauce.
It ruins the delicate flavors, you heathen.
15. DON’T: Put ginger on sushi before eating it.
The sushi chef has crafted your food with balance in mind. He doesn’t need you to mess with his art. Eat ginger between pieces of sushi as a palette cleanser.
16. DO: Preserve the beauty of the sushi.
For real though. Not everybody knows all the rules of eating sushi even in Japan, but the most crucial thing is to appreciate the craft of your chef and the beauty of your food.
17. Keep that in mind and your sushi experience will be the best experience.
From a Skagway’s circular.
Here’s the stock photo they used, titled: “Cupcake decorated with pills, close-up”.
I hope what happened here was a designer punked Skagway.