9 Things You Should Know About Oscar Wilde’s Niece

Oscar Wilde’s niece, Dorothy Wilde, never gained the fame of her uncle, but she did lead an equally whimsical life.


1. Dolly was born in 1895, only three months after her uncle went to trial for alleged homosexual behavior in Wilde v. Queensberry.

2. She would, on occassion, dress up in her uncle’s clothes:

She would borrow his pants, an oversize tie, and his famously ratty fur coat (which he is pictured wearing below).

People often commented on how strikingly similar the two were, as Joan Schenkar wrote in her book Truly Wilde:

Everyone who met Dolly Wilde remarked on the disturbing ways in which she was like her famous uncle. Some people felt that in Dolly’s enormous blue-grey eyes and virtuosic wit — so strangely like her uncle’s — they were seeing another ‘Oscar,’ born again in female form and playing to a smaller audience.

3. She shared Oscar’s talent for writing, but preferred to pour her talent into correspondence with friends rather than published works.

She wrote to her long-time girlfriend, Natalie Barney:

I am a darting trout; shifting, glancing & flashing my iridescent tail in a hundred pleasant pools! …

How long I shall keep in the path of virtue I can’t say but virtue with an object is so much more salutary than virtue with its own reward!

4. In 1914, she traveled to France and served as an ambulance driver during World War I.

5. During that time, she had an affair with the Standard Oil heiress, Marion “Joe” Carstairs:

After the war, Carstairs become a renowned speedboat racer and people called her “the fastest woman on water.”

6. She was a party girl, possibly to a fault.

This party girl drank heavily, was addicted to heroin, and attempted suicide several times.

7. Her longest relationship, which lasted from 1927 until her death, was with openly lesbian American writer Natalie Clifford Barney:

Natalie Barney was notorious for her Paris salon, and became known for her many romantic affairs. She once wrote out a list, divided into three categories: liaisons, demi-liaisons, and adventures.

8. In 1939 she was diagnosed with breast cancer, but she refused to undergo surgery. She would seek out alternative methods instead.

9. Her death, just like most of her life, was shrouded in mystery.

She died from an unknown cause at the same age as her father and her uncle, and most likely from the same addictions.

She was a woman of mystery and wit, remembered long after her death. As Janet Flanner wrote:

[Dolly] was so interesting to cull over and think about … because one wanted to locate in immediate recollection the particular version of her or vision of her which had been visible on that special day, and she had as many versions of herself, all as slightly different, as could have been seen in views of her supplied by a room lined with mirrors.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/skarlan/9-things-you-should-know-about-oscar-wildes-niece

Invisible Men: The Year An NFL Player Didn’t Come Out

Chris Ritter for BuzzFeed

This is how a gay NFL player doesn’t come out. There are five steps. First, football establishes itself as the last bastion of purebred American masculinity. Jason Collins, Tom Daley, Britney Griner, Thomas Hitzlsperger, Robbie Rogers. However significant their announcements and personal journeys as out athletes, it’s just not the same. They are not NFL players; they are not warriors.

Second is the idea of “distraction.” That’s the word that surfaces whenever the prospect of an out player is raised. “I’m not against anyone,” Chris Clemons tweeted last March when a fan pressed him for his thoughts about players coming out. “But I think it’s a selfish act. They [are] just trying to make themselves bigger than the team.” This notion was borrowed from the fight against LGBT people in the military, a parallel that — hardly a stretch — becomes even more striking.

“I don’t want to lose any Marines to the distractions,” General James Amos told reporters in 2010 following his congressional testimony against the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” The idea that soldiers living, fighting, and yes, showering, in close quarters would somehow be distracting to the point of total dysfunction by the mere existence of openly gay peers is back again, this time wearing cleats instead of combat-ready boots. When asked about a player coming out, Chad Johnson — arguably once one of the most distracting players in the league — told BuzzFeed, “The locker room would be in shambles. Why? Because no one would even function in that environment.”

“I’m invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me,” declares the protagonist of Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man, later adding: “When they approach me they see only my surroundings, themselves or figments of their imagination, indeed, everything and anything except me.” Just as the NFL now risks being defined by its resistance to out players in contrast to most other sports leagues, the Marines were one of the last holdouts against the repeal.

“We recruit on a warrior ethos,” added Amos. “We live hard, we train hard. We do tough things.” His language would work quite well in a Super Bowl promo. Every week that football is on during network television prime time, it is the most-watched program of the week. The Super Bowl easily tops 100 million viewers each year.

Third comes the money. Drew Brees, arguably the highest paid player in the league, had a salary of $40 million and endorsements worth $11 million in 2013. The average salary for a quarterback is $3,840,017. The least profitable position in the NFL, tight end, averages $1,420,890 a year. With money like that, and an average career length of three and a half years, NFL players can’t afford to get distracted — a possible injury awaits every lapse in focus — or worse, be called a distraction.

As LGBT advocates and now former players Chris Kluwe and Brendon Ayanbadejo can attest, there is no job security in the NFL. In this matrix, driven by a cultural premium on masculinity and buttressed with millions and millions of dollars, the players themselves are replaceable. There will always be more warriors.

The fourth step is perhaps the most important. This is where closeted gay players and fans watch how players and coaches and industry insiders close ranks around figures like the Vikings’ special teams coordinator Mike Priefer who, Chris Kluwe alleges, said, “We should round up all the gays, send them to an island, and then nuke it until it glows” during a meeting.

Kluwe’s accusations are being investigated, but the swiftness and conviction with which his former team members rallied to Priefer’s defense is informative. Whatever happened this season, there’s no denying that — in an era of unprecedented breakthroughs for LGBT visibility in sports — the absence of an out NFL player has itself become an undeniable presence. And that player’s silence is louder than any of the league’s attempts at putting on an LGBT-friendly face. Meanwhile, the league’s two most prominent advocates for LGBT equality, Chris Kluwe and Brendon Ayanbadejo, have hung up their helmets likely for good and not by choice. The NFL’s closet door isn’t just closed; it’s locked.

So, we reach step five: Closeted players grit their teeth and keep their heads down. I’ll come out when I retire, when the lights die down, when the injury happens and doesn’t go away. In the meantime, just outside that closet door: Fans, online and in the stadiums, are raging, addled by the energy of competition and the bull-headedness of the social web. The media, already in the locker room after each game for interviews, proves again and again its gift for invasion. “Come out, come out, whoever you are — and when you do, you’ll be ours.”

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/saeedjones/invisible-men-the-year-a-nfl-player-didnt-come-out

This Could Be The Gayest Stop Motion Video Ever Made

1. Meet Ian Axel and Chad Vaccarino, also known as the band A Great Big World:

2. In real life, they look like this:

3. They were challenged to create “the gayest song ever.”

4. So they created an amazing stop motion video:

5. And set it to the catchy tune “Everyone Is Gay.”

6. It’s not only super gay…

7. … it’s wonderfully adorable.

8. We can’t imagine how long this took to make.

9. But, we’re glad it exists.

10. So, is this the gayest music video ever?

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/skarlan/this-could-be-the-gayest-stop-motion-video-ever-made

Openly Gay Mayor Of Houston Shuts Down Critics After Marrying Her Longtime Partner

1. Houston Mayor Annise Parker tied the knot with her longtime partner, Kathy Hubbard, last week.

Parker’s election in 2009 made Houston the largest U.S. city with an openly gay mayor. She has since been re-elected twice, winning again in both 2011 and 2013.

Richard Carson / Reuters / Reuters

3. Local Republican leaders questioned the motives behind both the location and timing of her ceremony.

The couple selected January 16 for their wedding date because it marks the 23rd anniversary of the start of their lives together.

Richard Hartog / Reuters

4. Jared Woodfill, the chairman of the Harris County Republican Party, stated it was all about her political agenda:

She waited until after the election to do this for a reason, because she realized had she done it before the election and subjected herself to the will of the voters, she might not have been successful […] First and foremost, she issues her unlawful same sex benefits to couples married in other states. Then she goes to California, a state that recognizes same sex marriage, and gets married there. Then she gives her city attorney a 43-percent pay raise.

5. State Sen. Dan Patrick said in a statement:

AP Photo/Statesman.com, Deborah Cannon

6. When Parker was asked about Patrick’s comments in an interview with KHOU 11 News, she responded:

Dan Patrick’s running a political campaign. And he wants to make the gay community a whipping boy in that political campaign. And he thought I was an appropriate target. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. And I don’t think that’s unusual.

7. “I took four days off,” Parker said. “I had to leave my home state and make a little wedge of time to marry the woman I love. They can get over it.”

She simply stated, “You don’t commit 23 years of your life to someone to make a political statement.”


8. Mayor Parker to all the haters:

Richard Hartog / Reuters

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/skarlan/openly-gay-mayor-of-houston-shuts-down-critics-after-marryin

Smith College Rejects Female Transgender Student

Smith College, a private liberal arts college for women located in Northampton, Massachusetts, is a highly selective institution with a long history of supporting women’s education.

The college has rejected Calliope Wong, a male-to-female transgender applicant who is currently a student at Amity Regional Senior High School in Connecticut, because a government financial aid document registers her as male. Calliope wrote on her blog, “The research I’ve done on Smith’s trans-policies seems to strongly suggest that, regardless of a transwoman’s character and academic merit as a student, she will not be given the same consideration for her application. In fact, a transwoman will likely get NO consideration whatsoever for her application (it will almost certainly get thrown out immediately). This is because they only consider female applicants for undergraduate admission.”

On Smith’s website you can find the “Gender Identity and Expression” policies, which are disappointingly vague. The college states on their website, “Students at Smith, whatever their gender identity or gender expression are diverse, accomplished, and various in their views.” So how does Smith decide who is a woman? They go on to explain, “With regard to admission, Smith relies upon the information provided by each student applicant. In other contexts, different definitions and requirements may apply. For example, the definition of a woman for NCAA competition may differ from the definition of a woman for purposes of admission to Smith or other single-sex colleges.”

“I am not a rapist; I am not a criminal, and it is not fair to assume that I am such a person,” Wong wrote on her blog. “Thing is, I’m a girl who wants to just wants her fair shot at Smith.” Wong told the Huffington Post that while she does not plan to appeal Smith’s decision, she is in no way giving up on her cause. “I continue working so that others who care about equal rights have access to the truth. And, most importantly, I do this for the transfolk after me, so that they might inherit better policies and a more just system of education.”

3. Calliope posted the rejection letter to her tumblr:

In order to be accepted by Smith College, Wong would most likely have to undergo gender affirmation surgery before she can change her official gender identity in Connecticut. In her blog she points out why this presents a huge problem:

A Facebook group called Smith Q&A, as well as a tumblr, have started photo projects of women posing with signs supporting Wong.

Read more on Calliope’s blog here.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/skarlan/smith-college-rejects-female-transgender-student

Which “Orange Is The New Black” Character Should Be Your Valentine?

    1. Their sense of humor

    2. Two piercing eyes

    3. Their passion!

    4. Dat ass

    5. Their wallet?

    6. They way they make you feel

    1. A romantic dinner

    2. Picnic in the park

    3. Movie and drinks

    1. A night at a comedy club

    2. House party

    3. You’re literally down for anything

    1. The Good Wife

    2. 30 Rock

    3. House Of Cards

    1. Sex & The City

    2. The L Word

    3. Breaking Bad

    1. When someone exoticizes you

    2. Flakiness

    3. When someone clearly isn’t willing to put in the effort

    4. Cheating

    5. If someone is overbearing

    6. If they don’t get your sense of humor

    1. Traveling the world

    2. Settled down with a few kids

    3. Probably in jail

    1. Enjoying the life of a gold-digger

    2. CEO of a company

    3. No clue

    1. “You’re so beautiful, you just made me forget my pick-up line.”

    2. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.”

    3. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

    4. “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice”

    5. “If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.”

    6. “Are you a keyboard, because you’re my type.”

    1. Any Shakespeare

    2. “Les Miserables”

    3. “Gone Girl”

    1. Manga or Comics

    2. The Harry Potter series

    3. I don’t read that much

    1. Chewing loudly

    2. Slow walkers

    3. People who ask questions during movies

    4. People invading your personal space

    5. People using the term “literally” incorrectly

    6. People actually saying “YOLO”

Which “Orange Is The New Black” Character Should Be Your Valentine?

  1. You got:


    You don’t take Valentine’s Day too seriously, and that’s why Taystee is the lady for you! She will sweep you off your feet with her wild sense of humor and laid-back personality. No matter what you do – you know you’re going to have a great time.

  2. You got:

    Big Boo

    When Big Boo lets down her sarcastic front to show you she really cares on Valentine’s Day, you’re going to melt. You usually think this holiday is a little silly but no one is immune to this kind of charm. Watch out for Little Boo coming to deliver a card to you!

  3. You got:


    When it comes to Valentine’s Day, you love to be in charge. Always the “giver” in a relationship, you love planning out surprises and dates. Piper is the perfect valentine for you because no matter what you end up doing you’ll both have fun and she makes you feel special. If you’re lucky, you won’t end up locked in a washing machine.

  4. You got:

    Alex Vause

    You’re always down to try new things, but sometimes you need someone to give you that little push. Alex, fearless and adventurous, will make sure you do something a little crazy this Valentine’s day. Go on, be her little spoon!

  5. You got:


    No matter where you are or what you’re doing, you demand the best – and this holiday is no exception. Sophia is going to make sure your Valentine’s day is far above the rest.

  6. You got:

    Crazy Eyes

    Your Valentine’s Day is going to be three words: Over the top. You love surprises and demand nothing less than a grand gesture on such an important holiday. Crazy Eyes is your perfect valentine because she has more than enough love to give. Go on, get your swirl on.

  7. You got:

    Officer Bennett

    You love feeling safe and protected, and who better to do that than an officer of the law? He puts on a tough act, but underneath he is a softie. Make sure you have a stick of gum ready this Valentine’s Day.

  8. You got:


    How can you not have fun on Valentine’s Day when it feels like you’re hanging out with your very best friend? When Poussey doesn’t have you laughing, she is melting your heart with her unbelievably adorable ways.

  9. You got:


    Your day just got a little bit sweeter. Daya’s lovely and magnetic charm would sweep anyone off their feet, but don’t mistake her for a pushover. She isn’t afraid to get exactly what she wants and you love that about her. Be on the lookout for a secret note from Daya this Valentine’s Day.

  10. You got:


    Nothing in life should be taken too seriously, including Valentine’s day. Nicky is going to make you feel special, pampered, and mostly likely have you dying of laughter the whole evening. If you’re lucky she needs help with an “art piece.”


Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/skarlan/which-oitnb-character-should-be-your-valentine

Archie Comic Debuts Its First Gay Kiss And Throws Shade At One Million Moms

1. Last year, One Million Moms called for a boycott on the Archie comic that featured a gay marriage.

2. That issue was one of the few Archie comics that sold completely out.

As Dan Parent, a writer of Archie Comics, said, “We love One Million Moms!”

3. Archie Comics then announced that it would feature a gay kiss in an issue that came out today.

Archie Comics / AP

Kevin Keller (who is the same character who got married) and his boyfriend kiss in today’s issue.

4. And the woman in this issue seems awfully familiar:

In fact, this homophobic mom rallies together 30 other homophobic moms in the area. Yep, these women were based on One Million Moms.

5. Big shout out to One Million Moms for making Archie Comics sell so well!

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/lilyhiottmillis/archie-comic-debuts-its-first-gay-kiss-and-throws-shade-at-o

According To Faith-Based Audiences, This Gay TV Actress Is “Most Appealing”

1. Kirsten Vangsness topped the list of TV actors with the most appeal to faith-based audiences.

Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images

Vangsness, who plays wacky and weird FBI technical analyst Penelope Garcia on the CBS show Criminal Minds, is openly gay and announced her engagement to her longtime girlfriend in 2009. According to Reuters, “Actors on the popular crime shows “NCIS” and “CSI” also fared well in the 2013 rankings of the most appealing celebrities by survey respondents who said they attend regular services at their house of worship.”

The survey results were released by E-Poll Market Research, and were based on a survey of 1,100 Americans (age 13 and older) who ranked more than 40 celebrity attributes. The other winners were less of a surprise with faces like James Earl Jones, Sean Connery and Morgan Freeman, who have played God or God-like figures several times, taking top spots.

2. Kirsten with some of the cast of Criminal Minds:

Alberto E. Rodriguez / Getty Images

3. She became engaged to long-time girlfriend Melanie in 2009, but the pair are in no rush for a wedding.

4. In the mean time they take selfies:

5. And Kirsten will keep taking these unreal behind-the-scenes photos:

6. And continue, as her twitter bio reads, being a “glitter covered creator/cave dweller who practices fearlessness”

Eric Gaillard / Reuters

7. Never change Kristen…

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/skarlan/according-to-faith-based-audiences-this-gay-tv-actress-is-mo

Dancing With Aunt Viv

When I was 6 years old, I got into the habit of holding my parents and their friends hostage. After dinner, by my sheer willpower and insistence, all of the adults I could manage to corral would find themselves in the living room, sipping wine and politely smiling while I stretched and turned on the radio.

“I’m going to dance,” I’d announce over my shoulder as I fast-forwarded to the right song on Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation 1814 cassette: sometimes “Rhythm Nation,” usually “Escapade” or “Black Cat” if I really wanted to make a statement. Once I found my song, I’d turn up the volume just shy of the point at which the speakers would screech, dramatically strike a beginning pose in the center of the room, count out “and 5, 6, 7, 8” in my head, and dance. No choreography or planning, but no shame either. I kicked, spun, dipped, stomped, and turned like that’s what every 6-year-old kid did after dinner on school nights. The adults in the room weren’t an audience so much as witnesses. I wasn’t dancing for them. I was dancing for the fierce little black boy I saw reflected in all their eyes.

On nights without dinner guests, I’d push the coffee table to the side of the living room and dance until I was too tired to stand. After a few weeks of these sessions, my mother caved in and bought a stereo for my bedroom. I would dance for hours with my door closed then. It was fun, sure, but more importantly, it just felt like something I had to do. I didn’t bother asking for dance classes because I knew we couldn’t afford it. And anyway, classmates would probably just get in my way.

At the time, it didn’t occur to me that all of this dancing had a very specific catalyst. I thought it was just something I did when I was a kid and, sadly, grew out of. A few weeks ago, Awesomely Luvvie — one of my favorite blogs — did a post on Aunt Viv from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and everything clicked into place.

On Oct. 21, 1991, during the sitcom’s second season, Will’s Aunt Vivian, the ever-elegant literature professor (played by Janet Hubert), turned 40. Faced with a midlife crisis, Aunt Viv decides to audition for a modern dance performance in spite of the fact that she hasn’t danced for years. She overcomes sneers from snobby, younger dancers, seemingly impossible choreography, as well as the curious looks from family members who wander if the stoic professor has finally cracked. At the end of the episode, Viv walks into the studio and gives an audition performance that instantly qualified as iconic.

Watching the episode when it first aired, I stood up and started dancing along with Viv as best I could. When she walked over to the dancers who had mocked her moments before and snaps her fingers in the faces, I fell to the floor, laughing uncontrollably, snapping like my right hand had been possessed. I convinced my mother to buy a copy of a C+C Music Factory cassette the next day.

The ability to seek out and identify with heroes and heroines is an essential part of making it as a queer kid. We are products of our blood relations but also our constructed relations. When I looked at Aunt Viv dancing, I saw — and this is something I’ve only come to understand in retrospect — an aspect of the self I was in the process of trying to become. I was 6 years old, bucktoothed, and scrawny, but even then, I knew, however vaguely, that it wouldn’t always be the case.

Obviously, Aunt Viv wasn’t queer, but this was 1991. The closest I got, at the time, to seeing black queer characters on television were the “Men on Film” skits on In Living Color, and even then, I knew those queens were punch lines more so than people. Aunt Viv, however, was intelligent and compassionate as well as glamorous. Seeing her dance, freely and fiercely, unleashed a very particular kind of joy in me, that peculiar breed of joy that makes you want to be your most essential self.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/saeedjones/dancing-with-aunt-viv

Trans Woman Wins Right To Marry In Malta

Handout / Reuters

Though Joanne Cassar’s birth certificate and official identity card said she was female when she filed for marriage to her husband in 2006, a Maltese marriage registrar refused to recognize their union because same-sex marriage is not permitted in the country.

Cassar went to court. According to Malta Today, she initially won a ruling in her favor, but a higher court overturned the verdict. The government argued that it only labeled her female on her identity card in order to “spare her embarrassment.” It did not mean Cassar was entitled to be treated legally as female.

Cassar appealed her case to the European Court of Human Rights, which ruled in a 2002 case that governments could not bar transexuals from marrying.

The government relented before the court could take up the case, however. Malta Today reported on Wednesday that details of the agreement between the government and Cassar “reflect the principle that, by officially recognising a person’s reassigned gender identity through documentation (eg, ID card or driver’s licence), the State also de facto commits itself to acknowledging and protecting all the rights and privileges associated with that particular gender identity.”

Cassar showed her joy on Facebook, posting, “kemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm jiena ferhanaaaaaaaaaaaaa grazzi il maltin ghax vera malta taghna il koll :) kemm jien ecitataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…”

Malta Today provided this interpretation: “No direct translation can quite do justice to such a spontaneous expression of ‘happiness’, ‘excitement’ and ‘gratitude’. Suffice it to say that her keyboard evidently shared in her enthusiasm.”

J. Lester Feder is a BuzzFeed contributor and 2013 Alicia Patterson journalism fellow.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/lesterfeder/trans-woman-wins-right-to-marry-in-malta