Phase 3: Profit! @BarackObama reveals sure-fire way to jump-start the economy!/JohnEkdahl/status/408346085925474306

Yay! Gather ’round, everyone, for The Lightbringer has decided to reveal the secret to a booming economy! Fortunately for us rubes, his OFA flunkies have summed it all up in one handy graphic:!/BarackObama/status/408337097859162112

It’s all so simple! Or … not:!/CAAmyO/status/408346517410291712

Confused? You’re not alone.!/SamValley/status/408353195862130689

Drugs are bad, mkay?!/CAAmyO/status/408353372807258114!/AndrewHClark/status/408353448925491200

Yeah … about that “Obama math“:!/BecketAdams/status/408346342264541185

Heh. Seriously, though, who comes up with this garbage?!/Neal_Dewing/status/408346113326858242

That’s exactly what it is:!/RexHarrisonsHat/status/408348364636315651!/OrwellForce/status/408351822014083073

If we’re being honest, though, the Underpants Gnomes probably have a better understanding of economics than anyone in the Obama administration.!/AndrewHClark/status/408354088829468672

"We need a big, but plausible number."

"Umm…twenty—no, thirty…two. Go with thirty two. Maybe a decimal place too."— Lachlan Markay (@lachlan) December 04, 2013

This is the epitome of fuzzy math. It’s just … we can’t even.!/ThePantau/status/408350188839784452!/OrwellForce/status/408354170677104643

Hey! Maybe money can grow on trees!



‘HAHAHAHA!’ Obama vows Obamacare laser focus; Swiftly spots Squirrel

Editor’s note: The first paragraph of this post has been edited for clarity.

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Obama’s excuse for rampant illegal immigration is quite the #SelfIndictment!/profpundit/status/483689747584663552

All this time, we’ve been wondering how illegal immigration has gotten so bad. At this afternoon’s press conference, President Obama revealed the answer:!/markknoller/status/483689081034260481

Oh, so that’s what it is. Well, rules are hard … and nobody understands that better than the reluctant rule breaker in chief:

QFE: "The system is so broken that folks don't know what the rules are." – Obama

#SelfIndictment— Adam Baldwin (@AdamBaldwin) June 30, 2014!/BiasedGirl/status/483689263402602496

Why should we expect immigrants to follow the rules when the president regularly sets such poor examples?!/paconner/status/483689346793750528!/JoAnneMoretti/status/483695119879528449!/kyapiphi/status/483694200467120128



‘Just sick’: Obama says it’s Congress’ fault he has to resort to executive action

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Kabul rocked by two blasts near U.S. embassy; Taliban reportedly claims responsibility!/Pressistan/status/415709670112641024!/AhMukhtar/status/415706693230936064

Reports streamed in across Twitter late on Christmas Eve that two blasts had shaken Kabul, Afghanistan not far from the U.S. Embassy.!/PressTV/status/415739438635835392!/BashirChoudhary/status/415741140957396992!/AfPak_Journo/status/415734219172614144

According to one local journo, there’s been one arrest.!/EsmatKohsar/status/415707950721015808!/pineappleskip/status/415678536700407808!/fykkhorshid/status/415675793311014912!/MrShirinaqa/status/415704913352474624!/NasirAzizi1/status/415676304051027968

The New York Times reports that the Taliban quickly claimed responsibility.!/nytimes/status/415742698247950336

But will Susan Rice play the YouTube video blame game again?!/kickbackattack/status/415741788079804416

An ABC News foreign editor in Kabul tweets that Afghanistan’s deputy interior minister for security has confirmed at least one rocket attack.!/WilliamsJon/status/415686759633403904

Keep our troops and civilian personnel in Kabul in your Christmas prayers this morning.!/Brando_Baum/status/415690390323228673!/tinastullracing/status/415677569615142913

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Reports: Scandal-plagued Montana Sen. John Walsh dropping out of race!/jimgeraghty/status/497471473989455874

Montana Democrat Sen. John Walsh is dropping out of the race in the wake of plagiarism allegations:!/DanaBashCNN/status/497473588564611072

Walsh will reportedly keep the Senate seat until his term is up at the end of the year.

What might be next for the Democrats?!/JillStanek/status/497482545366581248

Editor’s note: This post has been updated to include an additional tweet.



‘The Eagles are breaking up?’ AP scoop: ‘Sen. Joe Walsh’ to walk away from race

‘Way to get the party wrong, a-holes’: TPM mislabels scandal-plagued Dem John Walsh

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Sen. Ted Cruz edges out Ben Carson in #RLC2014 straw poll!/erikrush/status/473534345761030145

The 2014 Republican Leadership Conference wrapped up this weekend in New Orleans, and Sen. Ted Cruz emerged as the winner of the event’s presidential straw poll, barely edging out Dr. Ben Carson.!/edshow/status/473579669137424386

Rounding out the top five were Sen. Rand Paul, Gov. Mike Huckabee and Gov. Rick Perry. Gov. Chris Christie came in last with only 1.11 percent of the vote.

Carson’s second place finish is especially impressive considering he did not appear at the event; Cruz was a featured speaker who drew a capacity crowd and several standing ovations.

Cruz easily won the 2013 Values Voter Summit straw poll with 42 percent of the vote. Sen. Rand Paul ran away with the CPAC straw poll in March with 31 percent support and topped the Northeast Republican Leadership Conference straw poll with 15 percent of the vote.

Cruz wins straw poll #RLC2014
Carson in second
Paul in third— ELLYMAYE (@Ellysa_Maye) May 31, 2014!/edshow/status/473576548327370752!/pudyvetu/status/473079050630463488


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Dem congressional candidate slams ‘Geedy & power hunger Politicians’!/jt4congress2014/status/510414556024549376

Jesse (J.T.) Smith is the Democrats’ nominee in Alabama’s 3rd congressional district. He lashed out against “raciests” on Monday. Before that, he said congressional Republicans are waaay worse than ISIL. Now he’s speaking out against “geedy,” “power hunger” politicians. No wonder his Twitter feed has become one of Twitchy’s favorites.

We have to ask: Did this guy study spelling and grammar at the University of Cher?

My opponent claim to support Veterans in "public" but voted against H.R.1171 Homeless #veterans Reint. Program Reauthorization in "private".

— JT Smith (@jt4congress2014) September 10, 2014

The roller coaster we endure in this country is bumppier & more irritating than dry shaving on bad skin. We know the CAUSE so, let's fix it!

— JT Smith (@jt4congress2014) September 11, 2014

Congress & Actoin for America? Let's hope so. I believe 450 additional troops w/1100 in #Iraq & Taxpayer $$ are the PARTY LINES #ObamaSpeech

— JT Smith (@jt4congress2014) September 11, 2014

If he fails to win his congressional race, he could always sign up as a Common Core spokesman.


A few minutes after our post went up, he tried to cover his tracks by deleting his “geedy” tweet. Sorry, Jesse, that trick never works.



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Did OFA delete tweets about Romney & Iraq? No. Use this trick to find them!/KevinWGlass/status/337987430806327297

We sure do! Attaaaaack Waaaaaaatch!!/AttackWatch/status/113738429866573824

Before it evolved into @OFATruthTeam, the Obama campaign’s #AttackWatch account was @TruthTeam2012.

On Thursday night, some Twitter users thought the TruthTeam’s pitiful 2012 tweets about Mitt Romney’s position on Iraq had taken a trip down the memory hole. Those tweets weren’t deleted, but because OFA changed the handle from @TruthTeam2012 to @OFATruthTeam in 2013, a search like “from:OFATruthTeam AND Iraq” yields no results.

Want to mine pre-2013 TruthTeam tweets for hidden gems? Use the old TruthTeam handle to try Twitter searches like these:

from:TruthTeam2012 AND Iraq

from:TruthTeam2012 AND al Qaeda

Now we’re getting somewhere. The tweets you find in those searches will show up with the newer Twitter handle, but were tweeted before the handle was changed. We’ll just leave these tweets right here:!/OFATruthTeam/status/265916669447241728!/OFATruthTeam/status/264186346233556993!/OFATruthTeam/status/258389678259073024!/OFATruthTeam/status/260549037860720641

Have at it — see what ridiculous TruthTeam tweets you can find.

Just for fun, here’s an Attaaaaack Waaaaaaatch flashback video from Ezra Dulis:

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Greg Abbott slams Wendy Davis’ sudden support for open carry gun laws!/GregAbbott_TX/status/431918181225992192

Texas gubernatorial candidate Wendy Davis recently rattled some supporters by coming out in favor of “open carry” gun laws in Texas. Davis’ opponent, Greg Abbott, reminded Texas voters to be on the lookout for a gun rights poser.!/adamcaporello/status/431918374625370112

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Newt Gingrich, others wonder what happened to State Dept’s missing billions!/newtgingrich/status/452202848319983616

According to a new report from the U.S. Inspector General, the State Department is unable to account for billions of dollars over the past few years.

From the Washington Free Beacon:

The State Department misplaced and lost some $6 billion due to the improper filing of contracts during the past six years, mainly during the tenure of former Secretary of State Hilary Clinton, according to a newly released Inspector General report.

The $6 billion in unaccounted funds poses a “significant financial risk and demonstrates a lack of internal control over the Department’s contract actions,” according to the report.

Just to reiterate, that’s $6 billion missing.

In some circles, that could serve as evidence of horrendous mismanagement at best or a signal of corruption at worst. But not for the Democrats, who still have Hillary labeled as the heir apparent to Barack Obama.

Maybe a reporter from a mainstream outlet will just come right out and ask Hillary what happened to the cash. Ok, stop laughing.

Where is the money?!/Alyssafarah/status/452141558964690944!/ProfessorRobo/status/452203074460057600!/MistressOfSham/status/452144791841546241

Hillary Clinton as Head of State Dept.
1. Reset button
2. Benghazi
3. $6 billion in contracts unaccounted for

#Hillary2016—   (@n8sebaka) April 04, 2014!/PaulReverePress/status/452209436044820480!/NoahWehrman/status/452181762739683328!/baseballcrank/status/452129504916291585

Somebody better check the obvious first:!/liars_never_win/status/452213110439292928


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‘Onesies for all’? Amanda Carpenter slams the state of Obama’s economy!/mdrache/status/421638232388800512


The workforce participation rate in December is tied with October for the lowest level since 1978, according to government data.

Ted Cruz adviser Amanda Carpenter paints a dismal picture of Obama’s economy, with a little help from the much-mocked Pajama Boy:!/amandacarpenter/status/421639352981008384!/amandacarpenter/status/421639816900390913!/LHolloway2/status/421639272262037504

Here’s what Carpenter’s boss had to say about the BLS report:!/SenTedCruz/status/421647316525666304

Are we in the zone?!/Cameron_Gray/status/421640576816009216

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