Embracing His Inner Child: This Man Is Having More Fun With The Cardboard Box His Life-Size Anime Sex Doll Came In Than The Sex Doll Itself

Growing old is an inevitable part of life, and although we can’t keep our bodies from aging on the outside, we can stay young forever on the inside if we just hang onto our childlike wonder. For proof, look no further than 52-year-old Kenneth Ainsworth, who recently ordered a life-size anime sex doll yet is now having more fun with the cardboard box it came in than the actual sex doll itself.

Wow! He may have some wrinkles and gray hairs, but this man is beaming like an 8-year-old on Christmas morning!

Though he spent hours carefully deliberating over features like nipple color, foot shape, and breast size when ordering his custom-designed 4-foot-8 Luna Starr Fantasy Doll online, Ainsworth couldn’t have seemed any less interested in it when UPS delivered it this morning, opting instead to dive headfirst into the massive cardboard box it came packaged in and letting his imagination run wild. With his lifelike pleasure mannequin tossed off to the side amid a heap of packing peanuts and instruction booklets, Ainsworth has now spent the last five hours crawling in and out of the box having make-believe adventures, wholly uninterested in testing out the realistic vaginal port of his new silicone companion.

“Oh no, look out, we’re headed straight for an asteroid field!” Ainsworth squealed, rocking giddily back and forth in the cockpit of his cardboard spaceship, blissfully unaware of the wide cartoon eyes of the anime sex doll staring seductively in his general direction. “Hang onto your hats, space cowboys, because we are switching into hyperdrive! Vrooooooom!”

“Yikes, grab your blasters, we’ve got an enemy ship coming up on the starboard side!” he continued, paying no mind to the three detachable suction-powered orifices that he paid a $200 upcharge for just several feet away. “Pew! Pew! Pew! Take that, alien scum!”

Once he finished pretending he was a galactic ranger, Ainsworth then swapped out the metal popcorn bowl he was using as a space helmet for a construction-paper eye patch so that he could play pirates, still not even bothering to put his sex doll’s vibrating insert on its charger or to fill its self-lubricating reservoir with the accompanying gel. While many adults might roll their eyes at the sight of Ainsworth crawling headfirst into his cardboard cave in search of Blackbeard’s treasure and shrieking with gleeful terror upon encountering a fire-breathing dragon, the fact that he was so consumed with silliness and joy that his brand-new $1,499 erotic playmate was seemingly an afterthought should be a pretty telling indicator that he hasn’t let the doldrums of adulthood squash his sense of wonderment.

Tuckered out after a long day of whimsical journeys, Ainsworth then curled up inside his big box with a couch pillow and drifted off into a nap, where he went on to dream of imaginary cardboard box adventures yet to come. While there’s no question that Ainsworth will eventually dress his new sex doll in one of his ex-girlfriend’s bras and proceed to penetrate it, in the meantime it’s heartwarming to see him escaping all the stresses and worries of the grown-up world and embracing his inner child.

Read more: http://www.clickhole.com/article/embracing-his-inner-child-man-having-more-fun-card-7006

25 Couples Who Totally Dominated Cosplay At Anime Expo

These people absolutely nailed it.

1. These masks are LEGENDary.

These masks are LEGENDary.

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2. Jason (or Tommy) and Kimberly (or Kat). Either way you look at it, IT’S MORPHIN’ TIME!

Jason (or Tommy) and Kimberly (or Kat). Either way you look at it, IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!

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3. You can’t have Anime Expo without these two veterans: Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask.

You can't have Anime Expo without these two veterans: Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask.

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4. These two would make Miyazaki proud.

These two would make Miyazaki proud.

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5. Quintessential Reese and Cyrus cosplay brought to you by these awesome people.

Quintessential Reese and Cyrus cosplay brought to you by these awesome people.

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6. Props to these two for personifying what EVERYONE was thinking about Ryuko and Mako! Go you!

Props to these two for personifying what EVERYONE was thinking about Ryuko and Mako! Go you!

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7. There are not enough words to express how gorgeous these two look in those outfits.

There are not enough words to express how gorgeous these two look in those outfits.

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8. The epic badassery that is the Lagiacrus armor.

The epic badassery that is the Lagiacrus armor.

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9. These two are like two wonderful works of art. You can’t help but admire the detail.

These two are like two wonderful works of art. You can't help but admire the detail.

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10. These two prove why Miyazaki characters will ALWAYS be timeless.

These two prove why Miyazaki characters will ALWAYS be timeless.

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11. Tyrael and Imperious looking quite sharp.

Tyrael and Imperious looking quite sharp.

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12. Ryuko and Satsuki chillin’ like two homegirls who just finished beefing.

Ryuko and Satsuki chillin' like two homegirls who just finished beefing.

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13. OF COURSE! Only Deadpool can chill like that with Akuma.

OF COURSE! Only Deadpool can chill like that with Akuma.

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14. “HEY! LISTEN!”

"HEY! LISTEN!"

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15. Here we have Jayce from League of Legends trying to charm his way into the heart of a sorceress.

Here we have Jayce from League of Legends trying to charm his way into the heart of a sorceress.

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16. PURE. BADASS.

PURE. BADASS.

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17. This pink and red color combination between Madoka Kaname and Sakura Kinomoto is quite breathtaking.

This pink and red color combination between Madoka Kaname and Sakura Kinomoto is quite breathtaking.

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Not to mention Kaname’s bow and arrow with a flower on top.

18. Prepare for trouble! Make it double!

Prepare for trouble! Make it double!

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19. Ash and Pikachu look shockingly stunning together.

Ash and Pikachu look shockingly stunning together.

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20. Master Roshi with Bulma in a rare appearance outside of Kame House.

Master Roshi with Bulma in a rare appearance outside of Kame House.

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21. Fortunately for everyone, Androids 17 & 18 were much calmer than usual.

Fortunately for everyone, Androids 17 & 18 were much calmer than usual.

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22. The awesomeness that is Black Butler is demonstrated by these two.

The awesomeness that is Black Butler is demonstrated by these two.

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23. Most adorable duo must go to these two who brought Homestuck from MS Paint to real life.

Most adorable duo must go to these two who brought Homestuck from MS Paint to real life.

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24. Not too sure what’s happening here but they’re awesome.

Not too sure what's happening here but they're awesome.

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25. And finally, a set of little Mystiques. Not anime, but damn. If you don’t think that’s cute then YOU’RE not human.

And finally, a set of little Mystiques. Not anime, but damn. If you don't think that's cute then YOU'RE not human.

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Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/norbertobriceno/couples-who-totally-dominated-cosplay-at-anime-expo