Should I upgrade to A-list?
Chris Ritter / Buzzfeed
1. COOL. I got five messages since last time. Feeling pretty fly. 2. God, they’re all disgusting.3. You want to do what to my what?!? EW!4. OMG, delete. Next.5. Wait a minute, I’ve read this one before. 6. I should block this account. 7. Is this a real person? Maybe it’s a spambot.
8. I wonder if I can get a date in time for tonight?9. Nah, it’s too soon. I don’t want to send the wrong message.10. Let’s see if any babes visited my profile. 11. Oh, hey, nice smile.12. Hm…what do I know about zodiac sign compatibility?13. Height. *Quick mental math.*
Give It A Ponder / Via youtube.com
14. Wow, that first photo is deceiving. 15. Standard photo on a mountain/in front of a monument/on a beach.16. These percentages must count for something right?17. C’mon now, can’t you post more than one picture?18. Nope. Nope. Nope.19. I wonder how many people on here are sociopaths?20. Naked body!! AHH! Next! Next!
Universal Pictures / Via layfeuson.tumblr.com
21. These selfies are very MySpace circa 2004. Next.22. Why do some people cut off their faces in profile pictures? If you’re ashamed to be here, don’t be here.23. I hope I don’t get catfished.24. StudmuffinMcFinanceJock just checked me out. Horrible screen name. Christ. 25. What is this? An essay? TL; DR. No, thanks.
CBS / izumitastic.tumblr.com
CBS / izumitastic.tumblr.com
26. OMG I HATE EVERYTHING!! I’LL BE ALONE FOREVERRRRRR…27. Where’s my ice cream?28. Oh, hey there, cutie.29. Let’s check out the personality profile. More literary, more kind. Good, good.30. Great reading list/movie list.31. Self-deprecating humor. +1.32. Grammatical errors. -1.33. Eek, user is online. 34. PUPPY! *Click*
HBO / Via tetchytact.tumblr.com
35. LIES! It’s someone else’s! Don’t use other people’s puppies as clickbait!36. Aw, a pic with the family. Mom looks nice.37. Ugh, looking for casual sex. Next.38. Wait, why is this picture with another girl?39. Oh, that’s the sister. 40. Maybe if I just browse through these profiles, they’ll see, and someone will send me a message.41. HOLD UP. Who’s THIS?!
CBS / Via oenomaus.tumblr.com
42. Damn, 600 questions answered?43. Someone has a lot of time. 44. Lalala, jumping straight to unacceptable answers. 45. Ugh, I disagree. 46. Eh, I guess I could accept that. 47. Eek, (insert username here) just checked out my profile. 48. Um…..should I message first or should I wait?49. Fuck it. I’ll just go for it.50. ShitShitShitShitShit. Can I unsend??
51. If I say yes to late drinks, it doesn’t mean I’ll put out.52. Coffee dates are always safe.53. Dinner?! Wow, this person must really like me.54. Takes initiative planning the date. +1.55. When is it too soon to send a Facebook friend request?56. Full name acquired. Now googling.
CBS / Via charlangclaire.tumblr.com
Theres no woman on earth who hasnt frantically consulted her girlfriendsto help her figure outwhat a guy is thinking. Butthe only REALway to uncover the straight-up, honest truthisto go to the source: Men.
Bobby Box, our self-proclaimed nice guy,isan engaged 20-something fromCanada. Treez Alexander, our self-proclaimed fuckboy,is a single-and-DGAF 20-something from Brooklyn. Together, theyre here tooffer you anuncensored lookinto the male mind from two very different viewpoints to help you navigate anydating, relationship, or sex problem.
Email email@example.com with your name (orpseudonym), age, and a description of your puzzlingsituation, and you could be featured in a future column.
Hi! Im Michelle and Im 22.
I really, really like thisguy. Hes 27 and everything I like in a guy. We have so much in common.
We met around three and a half months ago. Aweek after we met, he texted me and we didnt stop talking for a whole month and a half. We talkedday andnight, sometimes til four in the morning.
Then, he started ignoring me. When that started to happen, a red flag went up in my head, so I started ignoring him, too.Except I started missing him.
Before I started a new semester, I asked himwhat was the point of saving my number if he wasnt going to ask me out. (Yes, we havent gone out on a date yet. Weve talked about it, but he doesnt make it happen.)
I told him I wasnt going to have enough time for him, and if he really wanted to go out with me, he should make it happen soon rather than later.
I just dont understand why he hasnt asked me out yet. He gives me the money excuse, or the every time I want to, something else comes up excuse.
If he wants to see me he shouldve done so already right?
The YouTube show SimplePickup showcases guys trying to pick up girls in the park. Each episode they have a different theme to their shenanigans. This time, they all get in wheelchairs and trick girls into talking to them playing the sympathy card. Of course the girls eat it up. Am I the only one who thinks this is even a little wrong?
Read more: http://cheezburger.com/8444015104