The Bizarre Way I Learned Cheating Isnt Just About Getting Physical

Hi, how are you?

I hope things are going well.

Things with me are going great, so you don’t need to trouble yourself by asking.

But let’s be honest here: Neither of us actually care.

Time has passed, and I’ve grown into a person who takes the high road.

And by high road, I mean stopping myself two seconds before introducing you to my fist.

I know, I know. I should do better and not even have those thoughts, but I can’t help myself.

You see, every time I see your face, it reminds me of the conversations you had with my man (ex-man).

Some conversations involved real-life questions you needed answers to, and some involved extremely inappropriate comments you should only share with those close to you.

In other conversations, you had genuine questions, but I bit my tongue and looked away.

I told myself, if I was in the same situation as you, and hewas really the onlyperson I could talk to, I would askall the questions I had.

You don’t get real responses about life except from those around your age, anyway.

The conversations when you made comments like, “Saw you liking her photos on Instagram. I know you wanna hit that,” are engrained into my memories.

Was your relationship really that close that you could talk to him like a bro?

Was your relationship that solid where you could insult me, yet act innocent when I was around?

How were you two closer than we were, when I knew you so much longer?

In fact, you were so close that he asked you if you had feelings for him because he had feelings for you.

One night, you two met upand talked about how you felt for one another.

Maybe I missed the deep conversations about life you shared.

Maybe I missed the get-togethers that brought you two closer together.

As far as I’m aware, there was only one time you two actually met without me.

Maybe there was more to this story than I’ve been told. Who knows?

You’ll never tell me, and neither will he. And frankly, I don’t want to ask.

I just want to tell you one thing.

Remember that night you two spoke about your feelings, and you said you weren’t a “homewrecker?”

Well, I refuse to agree with you.

You wrecked a home I called sanity. He wrecked a home I called a relationship.

You’re not all to blame for the failure of my relationship.

You are not to blame for the insecurities in my mind.

You are not to blame for liking such a great guy. He was a catch, after all.

No, you’re not to blame for any number of things.However, you are to blame for not telling me.

The moment you stepped in, you were accountable for what happened.

You were accountable for not letting me know that my ex-boyfriend was a backstabbing scumbag.

You were accountable for liking our photos on Instagram long after this conversation happened.

You are to blame for looking me in the face for months without saying anything.

For six months, I didn’t know.

For six months, I had to wait to find out about your “nothing happened” affair through a side comment made under his breath.

It was something I could have missed had I not heard your name.

Woman to woman, I expected more from you.

Sure, it’s tough to tell the girlfriend of the guy you like that he actually hit on you.

I mean, would she believe it?

Would she call you a hater? Would you get verbally attacked?

All of those options are possible.

However, there is one thing in common with all of these options: You said something.

I sat there looking like an idiot, thinking my ex-boyfriend was getting innocent texts from you and sending them back.

I sat there on our anniversaries, calling myself so lucky.

All the while, you two were developing feelingsfor one another.

You didn’t sleep together? Oh, good.

Then in that case, there’s no way he was unfaithful.

There was no way you were a homewrecker.

Just because he liked you and you liked him, you didn’t do anything wrong.I’m just overreacting.

Let’s just hope you are never inthis position because if you ever do, you’ll have to sayI was right.

You’ll have to say, “I really was a homewrecker.”

With warmest regards,

Your ex-dormmate

Read more: http://elitedaily.com/dating/cheating-isnt-just-physical/1266514/

4 Toxic Habits That Are Ruining Your Relationship

Maybe youre stubborn. Or a bad listener.

Maybe you actpassive-aggressively when your partner irritates you or maybe, youre a little bit of all of these things.

Just as we all have great habits that make us the lovely, wonderful people our partners are so lucky to have found, we also havesome badhabits that our partners could probably do without.

But which ones are really doing our relationships the most harm?

Lee Ellis, a human behavior expert and author of Engage with Honor,has spent years observing various relationships(and even his own marriage), to identifythe four most toxic habits that can ruin yourrelationship.

Read along for some eye-opening revelations and advice on how to correct these damaging behaviors:

1. Refusing to listen.

We see the world from our viewpoint and our position, says Ellis. We dont think that there might be more than one way to look at or address asituation.

A lot of this inability to see from your partners point of view stems from a failure to listen.Its a really toxic problem because youre not able to connect with the other person, Ellis says.

In fact, in a survey of hundreds of leaders in corporate America, Ellis found that, when it came to describing their best working relationships, these heads kept citing the samequality over and over again: The idea of listening being heard, being seen, being noticed, being accepted by the other person, he says.

This principlecan be applied to romantic relationships as well. And since listening will make your partner feel heard, its definitely a habit worth working on. So, take the time to do it.

By listening, youre actually giving [your partner]a great gift: Respect, says Ellis.


2. Making assumptions.

One of our most toxic habits is assuming that our partnerautomatically understands what were trying to say. Butmost times, they dont.

Its crucial to clarify, rather than assume the other person knows what you know, sees what you see, has heard what youve heard, says Ellis.

Most of us are in the habit of assuming our partner understood exactlywhat we were trying to say during that big fight. But this is where youre making a major mistake.

Youneed to take the time to make your point of view clear so as to ensure that the two of you are on the same page.


3. Getting in your own way.

For about 10 to 15 years of his marriage, Ellistried tomakehis wife be more like him.

That is, untilone day, the couple hadtheir personalities assessed. When they compared their results, he realized that heand his wife were total oppositesin nearly every single personality trait.

So, what did he do? Well, he had to learn to accept her as-is.

Weve all experienced the desire to make thepeople we care about be just like us: Enjoy the same hobbies as us, laugh at the same things asus, communicatelike us, etc. Butsometimes, we goso far as to make the toxic conclusionthat the things that make them different from us are wrong.

Instead, you shouldlearn to accept yourpartner for exactlywho he or she is. And, actuallycelebrate their differences, rather than look at them as negatives.

To celebrate them, you have to work on first understanding your partners personality.

Elliseven hasa little remix of the golden rule for this: Do unto others as they would like to be done unto.

Meaning: Instead of assuming that your SOwould like to be treated the way you would like to be, take the time to really get to knowthemand the way they would like to be treated.

Its a more specific way to show respect for someone, Ellis says.


4. Being stubborn.

Stubbornness is funny because it can be an extremely good quality it gives us the perseverance to keep going even after we fail, which is a necessary habitto have if you want to succeed in certain areas of your life, likeschool and your career.

But, it can start to be a problem when it worksits way into your relationship.

Stubbornness can be a very special kind of perseverance, but when you get so invested in having to be right, the relationship really gets undermined, Ellis says.

You can see stubbornness in action when you look at the different ways people act it out: There arepassive aggressive people (who tend to withdraw and ice their partner out during conflict), active aggressive people (who tend to be extremely vocal and critical during conflict) and people who are a mix of both tendencies, says Ellis.

Its important for youto recognize what type youare and what type yourSO is.

For example, if your guyis passive aggressive and youre active aggressive, hes not going to get over the problem very easily and is also probably going to respond by pulling away and withholding affection.

Now, if youre an active aggressive person, this is going to drive you INSANE. Youre going to want to give into your natural tendencies, call himout for being distant and push himto engage in anargument.

These behaviors stem from stubbornness you get stuck in the belief that you are 100 percent right, and therefore, keep trying to prove your rightness to your partner through yourbehavior.

So, how do you fix this? Well, you just have to stop being so dang headstrong and realize that there really is a chance that you could both be right.

You just take ownership of much more than you think you should have to take, says Ellis.

Identify what you did that would possibly make your partner upset (again, this comes back to understanding how your partner would like to be treated), and apologize for doing it.

Then, all you have to do is say, Im sorry, in order to diffuse the negative energy.

When you find the confidence and the courage to do that, Ellis promises that, most times, your partner will also feel comfortableadmitting theyre at fault, too.

Of course, theres a chance your SOcould be a bully and keep coming at you even after you apologize. If thats the case, you need to realize that the problem is more with them than it is with you.

But, for most couples, when you say Im sorry, it will usually take all of the negative energy out of a situation.


Read more: http://elitedaily.com/dating/toxic-habits-relationshp/1603823/

Here Are The 10 Best Countries For Finding Love If You’re A Millennial

Peopleare always trying to get a leg up on dating. They’re always trying to see what they can do, how they can dress and where theycango to increase their chances of finding like-minded individuals to date.

Millennials are no different than any other age group in that regard, but some places are better than others for dating when you’re a young person.

Well, thanks toUS News &World Report, we can all see exactly which countries are best for dating as a Millennial. US News actually created a list of best countries in the world, and it derived a list of the best places to date as a Millennial from that other main list, using responses only from Millennial-aged participants.

To create its list, US News defined 65 attributes, or “terms that can be used to describe a country and that are also relevant to the success of a modern nation,” and surveyed 16,248people from 36 countries in the Americas, Asia, Europe, the Middle East and Africa.

Attributes were dividedinto nine subgroups that, when taken all together, determinedthe rankings of the best countries. The subgroupswere adventure, citizenship, cultural influence, entrepreneurship, heritage, movers, open for business, power and quality of life.

The participants themselves considered a random selection of countries and country attributes, with the end result being that each survey participant consideredabout half of the attributes for about a third of the countries, according to US News’ methodology.

Business Insider reports for the Millennial dating survey thatUS News scoredeachcountry onfive attributes: friendliness, fun, sexiness, trustworthiness and approachability.

Given those qualities,here are the 10 best countries for dating, according to Millennials.

1. Brazil


2. Italy


3. Spain


4. Australia


5. New Zealand


6. Canada


7. Thailand


8. Netherlands


9. France


10. Mexico

Check out the rest of the countriesover at US News & World Report,and head there for more details about the survey’s methodology and the attributes that contributed to each country’s ranking.

In case you’re curious, of the 60 countries that made the list, the worst five countries for dating as a Millennial were Algeria, Saudi Arabia, Kazakhstan, Pakistan and Iran.

Also in case you’re curious, here are the 10 best countries overall, according to US News’ report.

1. Germany


2. Canada


3. United Kingdom


4. United States


5. Sweden


6. Australia


7. Japan


8. France


9. Netherlands


10. Denmark


Subscribe to Elite Daily’s official newsletter,The Edge, for more stories you don’t want to miss.

Read more: http://elitedaily.com/news/best-countries-dating-millennial/1542288/

A New Game Lets You Romance Hot Dads And It’s Literally All We’ve Ever Wanted

I’ve always been a fan of virtual reality games.

And by a fan of virtual reality games, I mean I literally was at Apple Store the morning was released my senior year of college. Then, I obviously didn’t go out that weekend so I could properly spend my time gaming.

I also spent an entire summer of my life playing Millsberry. (If you know, you know.)

So, yeah, I like a good, old-fashioned virtual reality game.

I MEAN, THE ONLY THING MORE FUN THAN REAL LIFE IS CREATING A FAKE VERSION OF REAL LIFE WHERE YOU’RE SUPER HOT, AND ALL YOUR CRUSHES ARE SUPER HOT, AND YOU ALL EXIST IN THIS BEAUTIFUL CYBER WORLD, AMIRIGHT?

Right.

Well, a new virtual reality game is being released soon, and it’s basically everyone’s dream come true.

The game is called Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator.

If you didn’t get a chance to read what the game is all aboutin the tweet above, check out what the Dream Daddy website has to say about the game real quick:

Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator is a game where you play as a Dad and your goal is to meet and romance other hot dads.

You and your daughter have just moved into the sleepy seaside town of Maple Bay only to discover that everyone in your neighborhood is a single, dateable Dad! Will you go out with Teacher Dad? Goth Dad? Bad Dad? Or any of the other cool Dads in this game?

With minimums, sidequests, and a variety of paths and endings, Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator is this year’s most anticipated Dad-based game.

OK, so granted, there aren’t a lot of Dad-based games, soyou’ve gotta admit this game sounds like a TON of fun.

In the game, your player is also a hot dad, so literally create your own hot dadlook.

store.steampowered.com

Then, you roam around town flirting with other hot daddies, like this bad boy who hangs out in creepy alleyways and might be a zombie

store.steampowered.com

Or this hipster dad who hangs in coffee shops

store.steampowered.com

Or this ginger daddy who’s just proud of his ginger daughter

store.steampowered.com

or this intellectual, cheese-loving daddy.

store.steampowered.com

The game’s already been getting lots of hype on the internet, and people are already calling dibs on which daddy is theirs.

Porn sites have even started capitalizing on the new idea.

It’s getting mad respect for the diverse selection of dads they’ve created.

And people are even loving the daughter.

If you just can’t WAIT to get started playing this game, unfortunately, yougoing to have to wait a bit.

According to Steam’s website, Dream Daddywon’t be released until July 13, 2017.

All in all, whether you actually plan on playing the game or not, you’ve gotta admit this is a pretty huge step in the right direction when it comes to accepting all sorts of love daddies included.

Read more: http://elitedaily.com/dating/dream-daddy-video-game-hot-dads/1996789/

Why Your Boyfriend Will Never Admit When Hes Wrong, According To Science

You and your boyfriend had plans for last night at the new restaurant down the street from you.

You showed up at 7:00 pm (as planned), and you waited for a solid 15 minutes before deciding to give him a call to see where he is.

Turns out, hes been waiting for 15 minutes for at the restaurant down the street from . Youre livid.

HOW DID HE MESS THIS UP? ITS LITERALLY IN WRITING IN YOUR TEXT THREAD.

But he doesnt believe you, so you send him a screenshot of yourtext thread, where you explicitly said Lets go to the new restaurant down the street from me, and he responded, Sure, sounds good to me, how does 7 work?

Its a pretty black-and-white situation. Hes wrong. Youre right. But of course, he REFUSES to just admit he was in the wrong. No, this is your fault because you text in such large chunks that he couldnt help but miss that one detail.

Or its your fault because you ALSO talked about how you wanted to try the other restaurant down the street from him at some unidentifiable point in time.

Bottom line in his eyes is, its your fault, not his.

Well, before you go dumping him for being such a stubborn dingus, you might want to take into account the findings of this new study.

Basically, the researchers from Caltech, the Wharton School, Western University and ZRT Laboratory found that people with higher levels of testosterone (AKA men) tend to think theyre right, even when theyre wrong, more often than others do.

Caltechs Colin Camerer, the Robert Kirby Professor of Behavioral Economics and T&C Chen Center for Social and Decision Neuroscience Leadership Chair, further explainedtheir findings:

What we found was the testosterone group was quicker to make snap judgments on brain teasers where your initial guess is usually wrong. The testosterone is either inhibiting the process of mentally checking your work or increasing the intuitive feeling that Im definitely right.

Researchers came to this conclusionby conducting a study on 243 men who were randomly selected to receive either a dose of testosterone gel or a placebo gel before they were given a test.

One of the questions was this simple math problem:A bat and a ball cost $1.10 in total. The bat costs $1 more than the ball. How much does the ball cost?

For most people, the gut reaction is to say the ball costs 10 cents. However, if you think about that answer (using what fancy scientistscall your cognitive reflection skills), youd realize that answerswrong. That would make the bat cost only 90 cents more than the ball.

The correct answer is that the ball would have to cost $0.05, makingthe bat cost $1.05.

As you can imagine, the group that received the testosterone gel did NOT crush this test. In fact, they scored way lower than the other group, answering 20 percent fewer of the questions correctly.

Beyond that, the study noted that people with more testosterone were more likely to give their incorrect answers quickly and take a longer time to come up with the right answers. Oof.

The researchers think this all has something to do with the fact that testosterone increases confidence in humans.

We think it works through confidence enhancement. Camerer explained. If youre more confident, youll feel like youre right and will not have enough self-doubt to correct mistakes.

So when your boyfriend just glances over your text conversation and assumes youve got dinner at the place on his street, it could partially be attributed to him being an idiot, but it could also just be all that testosterone in his system urging him to make a quick judgment and go with it.

So pat yourself on the back for snagging a BOLD, CONFIDENT MAN. But also kind of punch yourself on the back because hes chemically predisposed to being a jackass.

Read more: http://elitedaily.com/dating/boyfriend-testosterone-science/1890652/

These 30 Absolute Disastrous Masturbation Stories Show Just How Shameless Being a Horny Teenagers Really Is

Read more: http://cheezburger.com/1206277/these-30-absolute-disastrous-masturbation-stories-show-just-how-shameless-being-a-horny-teenagers

15 Real Reasons Why He Never Texted You For A Second Date

Ah, you meet the most guy, and your first date with him couldnt have been more perfect or so you thought.

Until he doesnt ask you out for a second date.

There could be SO many reasons why he never texted for another date, and some of them may not even have anything to do with you.

If hes sorting out some issues in his life at the moment, it would have happened to you just as much as it would have happened to the next chick in line.

Shutterstock

So, quit stressing. If he faded out after the first time you guys went out, itll definitely be disappointing if you saw potential on your end. But, it obviously wasnt meant to be.

Feel blessed he didnt string you along for a couple of months and then drop you like a hot potato when he decided this wasnt at all for him.

He did you a favor by letting you know early on he doesnt want to pursue it.

Here are 15 real reasons why he never hit you up for a second date.

1. Youre not what hes looking for in a girl.

2. There was no chemistry and it just didnt click at all.

3. He felt you didnt have enough in common.

Shutterstock

4. He just wanted to hook up, plain and simple.

5. He sensed you were into him way more than he was into you.

6. You may not be at all what he pictured.

7. He just got out of a relationship and doesnt want anything more right now.

8. Hes seeing a lot of different girls and decided to pursue things with someone else.

9. He has a lot on his plate. He may have just lost his job, or is dealing with financial issues.

10. Something you did really turned him off, and he couldnt get past it.

11. You talked too much, and came across as conceited.

12. You didnt talk enough, and he was so bored.

13. You were too eager to text him after the first date and didnt texting him.

14. He didnt get the vibe you were super into him, so he moved on.

15. You kept checking your phone during the date.

Whatever the reason he didnt want to pursue things, its OK definitely not anything you need to get yourself worked up over.

Dont feel down and beat yourself up over it, because its not worth your time or effort.

Every part of dating teaches you something about different guys. Some things you will like, and some things you will hate.

When the right guy does come along, and he does text for a second date and beyond, youll know hes definitely a keeper.

Read more: http://elitedaily.com/dating/reasons-he-never-texted-for-second-date/1861664/